Unpacking the Challenges of Moving in Together: 4 Points to Keep in Mind
Moving in together involves much more than finding the right places for your collective stuff. It’s a time to discuss shared values and responsibilities and to make agreements and arrangements that will guide your daily life for years to come.
Understanding common challenges and deciding how to address them together strengthens your union. Here are four points to keep in mind to streamline the move-in process and ease stress.
The Challenges of Sharing Space when Moving in Together
Sharing space with a partner can sometimes be more stressful than doing so with a roommate for one crucial reason — unspoken expectations. When you move in with a stranger or friend, it’s natural to establish ground rules. You answer questions about who is responsible for cleaning what and which items are appropriate to store in common areas before signing the lease.
Sitting down with your spouse-to-be and going through the same process can ease many of the challenges that come with living together. Be sure to address the following issues:
- Responsibilities: How do you envision your shared future? Will you share most responsibilities 50/50? How will you divide chores if one partner works part-time or stays home? Not all labor earns a paycheck, but it does exact a mental, physical and emotional toll, so have an open discussion.
- Bills: How will you divide the bills? Will you open a shared account for household expenses, or will each of you handle certain expenses?
- Cleaning: What is your respective tolerance for messiness? Who will be responsible for which chores?
- Sleeping: What are your respective sleep schedules? Will each partner have a quiet place to retreat for “me” time?
- Decor: What are your decorating preferences, and how can you merge your households in an aesthetically pleasing way?
4 Tips for Making Moving in Together Less Stressful
Even though there’s a lot to consider, moving in together need not cause undue stress. The following four tips can ease the process.
1. Timing Is Everything
Give yourself the gift of extra time. To lengthen the transition, use some of the cash you received for your wedding toward an additional month of rent on your old place. Another idea is to rent moving pods that sit in your driveway instead of a truck, letting you load a few items each day.
Whenever possible, schedule the actual move-in day on a Friday. This gives you the weekend to unpack and settle into your new digs. You may feel too keyed up to sleep at first, and you want a full night’s rest before returning to work.
2. Divide and Conquer when Moving in Together
You might need two sets of hands to move heavy objects like entertainment centers. However, you can divide the labor and conquer your move more quickly with the following strategies:
- One partner stays at the old property, while the other proceeds to the new one to assist the moving company at both ends.
- One partner brings in boxes while the other unpacks and arranges items.
- One partner drives separately instead of towing their car, and the other drives the moving truck. Keeping one vehicle free simplifies matters when you must inevitably run to the store for that one item you lack or hit a fast-food drive-thru.
3. Hire Reliable Help
Moving entails multiple steps, including:
- Cleaning your old apartments and getting them ready for the next tenants.
- Cleaning your new home from previous tenants.
- Decorating the interior of your new home to reflect your unique tastes as a couple.
- Establishing new services for internet, power and trash, including recycling and compost removal where available.
- Programming and interconnecting your smart home devices, like TVs and thermostats.
The bottom line — you’ll probably need help. If you can afford more than pizza for your friends, hire the pros. Few things compare to coming home to a freshly cleaned house, and the right interior designer can transform it into your dream palace. Experienced movers have the know-how to protect your most valuable belongings during transit.
4. Reduce Waste
Finally, moving can take a hefty toll on the planet between truck emissions and plastic wrap. Fortunately, you have alternatives to make the process greener. Consider the following to reduce the total carbon footprint of moving in together:
- Use the packing materials you already have: Blankets and towels can safeguard plates and bowls better than plastic wrap or packing peanuts without costing a dime.
- Don’t buy new boxes: Most stores will gleefully donate used cardboard boxes that haven’t yet met the baler. Call ahead.
- Go electric: Although most moving trucks still operate on internal combustion, those with smaller needs might find electric cargo vans that do the trick.
- Donate: Whatever you don’t take with you you can give to a local thrift shop that supports charity.
Easing the Challenges of Moving in Together
Moving in together after saying “I do” is a big step that can be stressful. However, the right approach eases the process. Know what to ask and how to prepare. Hire the help you need so that you can spend more time enjoying your new home and spouse.